As in sex? Or as in murder? Boy Parts by Eliza Clark review and thoughts

    “and you’ve given me glimpses into your life, your real life, and I wonder if it’s your fault. I wonder if you’ve got anything but scraps to give.” -Eddie from Tesco, Boy Parts

"Boy Parts", by Eliza Clark, was a lot heavier than I expected: it was unhinged, uncomfortable, and sometimes very cringy…but I couldn’t put it down. 
The narrator, Irina, is honestly quite a horrible person. She’s cruel, judgmental, narcissistic…but strangely engaging?
Irina is a professional fetish photographer who scouts out unconventionally attractive men to photograph in compromising positions. 
She’s aggressive, rude, and doesn’t care about anyone’s privacy or boundaries. 
She makes all the men she photographs out to be disposable to her because of how disposable she feels to everyone else in her life.
You can’t help feel sorry for her... and every single person she comes in contact with. Everything Irina does is basically a huge cry for help. No one in her life really sees that. They give her so much slack and always come back to her no matter how many times she hurts them. 
Irina acts out of guilt, fear, spite, and malice the entire book, waiting for someone to call her on her shit and tell her to get help... and it just never happens. 

“I wonder what the fuck I have to do for people to recognise me as a threat, you know?”

    There’s so many not-so-subtle nods towards Irina’s mental health problems: drug use, drinking, ptsd, disordered eating, manipulation, self harm, verbal abuse, hallucinations, etc. "Boy Parts" is honestly a bit of a mind fuck because Irina is clearly struggling and taking her issues out on everyone around her, but no one in her life cares enough to help her get help.
    Overall, an incredibly engaging and uncomfortable read. Amazing how the author writes Irina so well that you simultaneously hate her and pity her.

    Yes, this is word-for-word my Goodreads review, but that's okay because my feelings about this book were really hard to put into words and that seemed to cover it. 

    Reading "Boy Parts" was like when you drive by a car accident and everyone slows down to try and get a look? This book is a slow motion car accident of Irina's life. I wanted to keep reading and I wanted to know what was going to happen next even though I knew it wouldn't be pretty -- that every single one of her actions throughout the book were incredibly self destructive or abusive towards someone else. Irina really isn't a good person, but the way she's written, and the level of discomfort the reader gets from being inside her toxic psyche, really keeps your interest and makes you want to keep reading. It's one of those books that makes you uncomfortable but you can't put it down.... but you'll also probably only read it the once. 

4/5 ★